


Cut the Death Jokes

by pennysparrow



Series: Halloween Content War 2017 [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 19:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12564572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparrow/pseuds/pennysparrow
Summary: Tim isn't a big fan of October and it's not for a reason you would guess.





	Cut the Death Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> For day 6 of Batfam Halloween Content War- Death

Life was tough. Living as all the people you’re close to die? Even tougher. So when Halloween rolls around and the inevitable zombie jokes start rolling out from those who have came back Tim gets rather uncomfortable. It’s not that he begrudges them the ability to joke, if anything it’s a healthier-than-what-most-of-his-family-does coping mechanism.

It starts October first and Tim is glad that it’s at least Jason, who’s jokes about dying and being undead are a regular occurrence over Tim’s comms. He’s laying on his back on a couch in the manor’s living room when the older boy walks in. Jason takes one look at Tim and the bruise like circles under his eyes and grimaces. “Wow Replacement. You look about as good as me, which is to say corpselike.”

Tim frowns up at him as Jason smiles and continues to tease him. “I know you’re still trying to fill my pixie boots but being dead inside is enough, you don’t have to look the part too.”

Glaring Tim sat up, skootching back towards the armrest as Jason flops down by his feet. “Must you?” Tim asked acidly.

“Uh, duh? It’s my month man! October is prime time for the undead like me! I get to crack as many jokes as I want and no one can stop me.”

Tim frowned and turned to half watch the crappy horror movie that Jason had flipped on.

A couple days later Tim was nursing a large mug of coffee at the kitchen table while Dick argued with Damian over breakfast. Alfred had begrudgingly agreed to let Dick cook with his supervision and Damian was now staunchly refusing to eat it. Which Tim didn’t exactly blame him for; Dick’s pancakes were infamous.

“Grayson, I have died once and believe me I don’t need to do it again!” the younger boy yelled, brandishing a butter knife.

Dick just narrowed his eyes. “Rude.”

“Do you have to?” Tim muttered.

“What are you mumbling, Drake?” Damian spat.

“I said, do you have to? Make jokes like that?” Tim looked at his brothers wearily. He’d had a rough night breaking up a turf war in the East End and really didn’t need any emotional strain on top of the physical exhaustion.

“-tt- Drake it was only the truth. Grayson’s cooking is deadly and I do not wish to be subjected to it,” Damian said with a weird look.

From the stove Dick also raised an eyebrow at Tim. Taking a sip of his coffee Tim shook his head. “Whatever. Just ignore me,” he mumbled into his mug.

Titans weekend rolled around and instead of training they had all agreed to do some team bonding and in the spirit of Halloween Garfield had pulled out his and Victor’s combined horror movie library for the day. Tucked into a blanket burrito and squeezed between Bart and Rose on the couch Tim had started to doze off. The movies not holding his attention and the sounds of Cassie and Kon making dinner in the other room similar enough to home that it was becoming increasingly difficult for Tim to stay even remotely awake.

“That is disgustingly inaccurate,” Raven observed of the ‘demonic symbols’ on the screen. Tim cracked an eye open and had to agree. “Not to mention,” Raven continued. “That resurrection scene was beyond unrealistic.”

Tim made a face from his blanket cocoon. “Raven…” He half chided, half whined.

“Yeah Rae! It’s a movie! Just enjoy it!” Gar said, sticking his tongue out at her.

“As much I hate to say it, but I’m with Raven. This movie sucks,” Bart chimed in from beside Tim. “I think we could make a better one. I mean, some of us at least know what it’s like to actually die.”

Without a second thought Tim shot out his elbow, directly into Bart’s side. The speedster yelped and glared at Tim.

“Dude! What was that?!” Bart pouted, rubbing a spot just below his ribs.

Tim just glared back at Bart while on his other side Rose laughed. “That was the most aggressive passive aggressive thing I’ve ever seen the bird boy scout do and I am proud,” she said with a wicked grin.

Tim just snuggled deeper into his blankets while the others all gave him questioning looks.

Tim was having an average, boring Wednesday at work when he got a text from Cass. All it had was the house emoji and the ambulance emoji which meant that he was to come home right now because there was an emergency. Phone in hand Tim grabbed his keys and the suit jacket from the back of his office chair. He rushed past his secretary, mentioning that his sister needed him for some emergency before half sprinting to the elevator. On the ride down to the parking garage he texted Cass asking her for more details and just got the house emoji again.

He had barely parked his sports car in front of the manor before he was hurtling out of it and up the steps through the front doors. “Cass! Cass! Where are you? Cass!” Tim yelled, his dress shoes losing traction on the foyer’s marble floor causing him to skid to a haphazard stop at the base of the grand staircase.

His sister appeared at the top of the steps, a mischievous smile twisting her lips and her short hair sticking out at odd angles. She waved him up before disappearing back down the halls towards the little used west wing of the manor. Kicking off the cursed shoes Tim followed. She led him further up the manor’s numerous floors to a hall that dead-ended with a window overlooking the patio, pool, and sprawling grounds at the back of the house. Said window had been propped open and what appeared to be a zipline was stretched from the window to a tree at the edge of the property’s small forest.

Cass turned to him and her eyes sparkled. “Need a lookout,” she confessed, confirming Tim’s suspicions that Alfred had no knowledge nor approval of this particular adventure.

Tim’s shoulders slumped and his head dipped as he looked at Cass with a frown. He knew that she was getting every bit of annoyance, disbelief, and brotherly concern that his body was practically screaming at her.

Cass just giggled and shrugged. “You only live twice little brother.”

Tim let out a groan so dramatic it required him to fling his head back and go half limp. “Cass! Really? You’ve been hanging around Jason way too much. You should be better than this!”

“I know. I’m sorry. Just… couldn’t resist,” she admitted and patted his head in a half-hearted attempt to soothe him.

“You owe me.”

“I do. Love you brother,” she held out her arms for a hug and begrudgingly Tim accepted it. “Tis the season,” Cass whispered in his ear as they embraced.

“Don’t tell me about it,” Tim grumbled.

The jokes became increasingly worse and more frequent as the month progressed, Tim had taken to muting certain friends and family members on his comms when he needed to. Although he hadn’t figured out a way to mute people in person.

He was working with Steph on taking out Riddler and a group of his thugs on night. The quips and batarangs were both flying and Tim had to admit that he was having fun riffing off of Steph. Although that ended rather abruptly.

Steph was dodging punches and knocking guns away with her staff as she laughed. “Oh c’mon boys, you’ve gotta do better than that! I mean, the enthusiasm is appreciated but really? Death is very been there done that for me and you guys are just so uninspired with your attempts at killing me!”

“Batgirl!” Tim scolded as he punched a goon in the nose.

“What?” she asked genuinely confused.

“Do you have to? Like really?”

“Double R I have absolutely zero clue about what you’re talking about. So how about we work out whatever it is after the fight and not during? Kay? Kay.”

Tim just growled and started taking the thugs down faster and fiercer. Soon enough they had Riddler cuffed too and the GCPD was on its way.

“What was that about?” Steph asked as they stood on the roof of the neighboring warehouse, watching the cops stream into the building.

“Just, the death jokes. I dunno. They’re not exactly good taste?” Tim muttered, not wanting to meet Steph’s gaze.

“Dude. Seriously? Dead Robins Club bro. If we can’t make fun of it what can we do? S’not like we can go to therapy or something.”

Tim grimaced, he knew that but that didn’t mean it made him any less uncomfortable. “Just… Never mind. Forget I brought it up. I’m sorry.”

Steph gave him a weird look but her comms beeped and she put a hand to her cowl. “What’s up O?” She turned and began running toward the edge of the rooftop, off to whatever emergency Gotham was offering up now. At least it ended that awkward conversation.

It was the weekend before Halloween and Tim found himself in Smallville. Kon had been asked to take Jon trick-or-treating before going to Titans Tower and he had invited Tim to come with them. Which Tim soon learned meant that Kon needed his help in throwing together a last-minute costume to go out with Jon in.

Tim was laying on top of the worn quilt on Kon’s bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling while his friend googled quick costume ideas and raided his closet.

“Why don’t you just go as Superboy? It’s not like anyone is gonna be able to know whether you’re really Superboy or not,” Tim suggested.

“Trust me, I pitched that idea. Both Ma and Lois vetoed it faster than Bart eats pizza.”

Tim hummed noncommittally and continued to stare at the ceiling. That was until he got a balled-up Superboy t-shirt to the face. “Ow,” he said, sitting up.

“Use that giant brain of yours and help,” Kon said, gesturing around the small room. “What’re you being anyway?”

Tim held up the t-shirt that had just pelted him. “If you won’t be Superboy than I will.”

“Hardy har har. You wouldn’t let me wear your Red Robin suit?” Kon ventured.

Tim raised a single eyebrow. “A) you already know the answer to that. B) you’re a good four inches taller than me! You’d never fit and you know it.”

“Worth a shot.” Kon shrugged. “What about a zombie? I can rip up some clothes and put some fake blood on and I really am already a zombie so I could just walk around in my normal clothes… Tim? You ok?”

As Kon was talking Tim’s lips had smooshed togethering into an increasingly straightening line as his brows inched closer to each other. He was only half processing Kon’s words and was just staring at his friend without realizing that the other boy had stopped speaking. Kon waved his hand in front of Tim’s face and with that Tim exploded.

“Do you have to joke about that? I mean, ok you died and it sucked but like you’re not the only one and guess what. You came back! Which is a heck of a lot more than some people can say. And while you were dead how do you think everyone else was taking it? Cause let me tell you it sucks. Sucks! When your best friend dies and then your other best friend dies and then your ex-girlfriend and your mom and dad and step-mom and then your adoptive dad and your crabass little brother and the only reason you’re a part of the family in the first place is cause your older brother was brutally murdered but y’know he’s better now. Oh! And your sister at one point died and was resurrected and didn’t really see the point in bringing it up until like a year later? So yeah. It sucks. It’s a ‘coping mechanism’ or whatever but for the rest of us it’s just not funny.”

Tim had been pacing the room, arms flailing as he spoke. But now he collapsed back on Kon’s bed, breathing heavy as he tried to calm down.

Kon had flattened himself against the wall as he let Tim rant, eyes wide the entire time. “That- that was a lot man. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Tim let out a stuttering breath. “I think I’m good now.”

“That was a lot of pent up rage… How long has this been bothering you?”

“A while now? Just, all month it’s been really bad,” Tim shrugged. He looked down at his hands and felt Kon sit on the bed next to him before looping an arm over his shoulders.

“Well I promise to make a conscious effort to not crack undead jokes from now on and I’ll mention something to Bart. Deal?” Kon asked.

“Deal.”

“Good. Now help me with a costume or I am wearing your suit.” Kon grinned.

“Absolutely not!” Tim told him before holding up a flannel shirt. “Here, be a hipster.” That earned him another t-shirt to the face.


End file.
